Full of Grace and Truth: Healing Friendship

The true mark of friendship is when you are there for each other, even in each other’s worst moments. No matter how idiotic one can act, a real friend will overlook those shortcomings and continue to show support. That’s what friends do.

Being able to overlook shortcomings and flaws in others is a sign of grace. Jesus certainly had plenty of opportunities to show such grace. Just take Peter as an example. While being one of Jesus’ closest associates, he definitely tested Jesus’ willingness to show grace on several occasions.

There was the time, for example, when Peter and the other disciples were out on the Sea of Galilee without Jesus. Later that night, the boat began to get tossed by the wind and waves. Worried already by the worsening conditions, the disciples were further terrified when they saw what they thought to be a ghost walking across the water. But instead of a ghost, it was Jesus.

Peter, ever the rash one, cried out, “Lord, if it’s you, tell me to come to you on the water (Matthew 14:28).” After Jesus gave him the go ahead, Peter stepped out of the boat and began walking toward Jesus on the water.  

So far, so good. But Peter’s fortunes began to sink a short time later. As he noticed the wind, he lost his focus on Jesus and began to go under. He cried out to Jesus. “Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. ‘You of little faith,’ he said, ‘why did you doubt (Matthew 14:31)?’”

At first glance, it appears that this was a rebuke. But I tend to look at it as a form of encouragement.  Jesus used this moment to show Peter that he didn’t need to doubt because he would always be there for him. Why? Because that’s what friends do. But whether you see this as a rebuke or encouragement, one thing is for certain.  It didn’t cause Jesus to give up on Peter. There was much more to come in Peter’s story.

It’s amazing how quickly it seems that Peter can follow a bright moment with an embarrassing one. Not long after Peter declared that Jesus is the Son of the Living God, we next find him rebuking Jesus. After explaining to his disciples how he was going to die, Peter was incensed. He took Jesus aside and said, “Never, Lord! This shall never happen to you (Matthew 16:22)!”

But Peter’s were not the final words. Instead, Jesus responded by saying, “Get behind me, Satan! You are a stumbling block to me; you do not have in mind the concerns of God, but merely human concerns (Matthew 16:23).” Was this a sharp rebuke? It sure was. But did this cause Jesus to leave Peter behind? Not a chance. In fact, just six days later, Peter, along with James and John, received the honor of witnessing the transfiguration. Now how’s that for a show of grace!

Unfortunately for Peter, he’s not yet done with his impulsive ways. On the night that Jesus was betrayed, Peter decided to play the hero. In a vain attempt to protect Jesus from those who had come to arrest him, Peter drew his sword and cut off the ear of the high priest’s servant. This prompted another rebuke from Jesus, who said, ““Put your sword away! Shall I not drink the cup the Father has given me (John 18:11)?”

Once again we see the grace of Jesus in action. In his gospel, John says that a detachment of armed soldiers were part of the group that were to arrest Jesus. Peter’s rash actions could have very easily caused a full-scale fight, perhaps leading to Peter’s own arrest or death. Instead, Jesus protected his friend by willingly giving himself up to the authorities. By this, Jesus put his own words into action: “Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends (John 15:13).”

Of course there was much more to it than that, as Jesus was soon to give himself up for the whole world, which is what he meant by saying that he was going to drink the cup his Father had given him, a cup of sacrifice and death.

But going back to the night of his arrest, Jesus’ grace extended even beyond Peter. According to Luke, Jesus healed the high priest’s servant whose ear Peter had cut off. In this dire moment, we see unmistakable signs of Jesus’ grace, not only to a friend like Peter, but even to those who came to arrest and hurt him. As we can clearly see in the hours before the cross, Jesus was demonstrating the depths of God’s grace and love even toward those who were his enemies.

And now we arrive at what must have been for Peter the worst moment of his life. Prior to his arrest, Jesus had predicted that Peter would deny him three times. In typical fashion, Peter, the brash one, essentially said, “No way! I’d die for you.” But once again, Peter would regret his words.

As the story goes, Peter did exactly as Jesus predicted. As recorded in all four Gospels, Peter, under the stress of the moment, denied knowing Jesus three times. When the full realization of what he had done hit him, he went out and wept bitterly.

Think about it for a moment. Imagine you are faced with a situation of sticking up for a friend whose life is on the line or saving your own skin. How many of us would have acted any differently than Peter? How many of us have betrayed a friend for much less?

This definitely sounds like it should be the end of the rope for Peter. I’m sure he thought as much himself, which is probably why he was weeping so bitterly. He had done some pretty rash and foolish things prior to this but this one takes the cake. There’s probably not a worse feeling in life than hurting the people we love the most. That’s where Peter found himself now, especially since Jesus was about to die and Peter would never have the chance to set things right.

But the wondrous power of God and the amazing grace of Jesus came to the rescue once again. John tells of an encounter between Jesus and Peter after Jesus’ resurrection. Peter and five other disciples were out fishing in the Sea of Galilee when a stranger appeared on the shore with a suggestion that led to a miraculous catch of fish. It’s only then that the disciples realized that it was Jesus.

Once ashore, they ate breakfast together, and after eating, Jesus and Peter had the following exchange.

“Jesus said to Simon Peter, “Simon son of John, do you love me more than these?”

“Yes, Lord,” he said, “you know that I love you.”

Jesus said, “Feed my lambs.”

Again Jesus said, “Simon son of John, do you love me?”

He answered, “Yes, Lord, you know that I love you.”

Jesus said, “Take care of my sheep.”

The third time he said to him, “Simon son of John, do you love me?”

Peter was hurt because Jesus asked him the third time, “Do you love me?” He said, “Lord, you know all things; you know that I love you.”

Jesus said, “Feed my sheep (John 21:15-17).”

Three times Peter had denied knowing Jesus. Three times Jesus lovingly restored him. That’s true friendship. And that’s grace. As a result, Peter went on to be the primary leader of the early church and fed and took care of Jesus’ sheep, just as Jesus wanted him too.

Through it all, Peter had learned humility and true friendship. He had seen the grace and love of Jesus over and over again throughout his ministry, but particularly in his own personal encounters with him. And I believe that in his darkest moment of betraying his Lord, Peter came out the other side understanding grace like he had never understood it before. Because by his act of grace, Jesus took what might have been an irreparably broken friendship and healed it. That’s why John could rightfully say that Jesus was full of grace and truth. No doubt Peter was in full agreement.