Imagine you have a teenage son. While at school one day, he hears about this incredible party that a female student is planning for the weekend at her house. Her parents are going away for the weekend so it’s all happening quietly. Your son would really like to go. First of all, his friends are going and he enjoys hanging out with his best buddies in the world. Second of all, he really likes this girl. This would be a great opportunity to really get to know her.
As the week progresses, he finds out that it’s going to be a wild party complete with a keg and other adult beverages. He’s never indulged in drinking before and he knows his parents would not approve of him going. But the opportunity to get to know the most popular girl in the school is just too good to pass up.
So he decides to cook up a scheme. He says he’s going bowling and to the movies with his friends and asks his parents if he can borrow the car. They trust him; they’ve never really had a reason not to. He’s never been in trouble before. And what’s the harm. His friends seem like a good group of young men. So they buy the lie and let him go.
I’m sure you can imagine the rest of the story. He goes to the party but struggles to find the courage to talk to the girl. So his friends (and others) encourage him to loosen up. You know what that means. He imbibes in the drinking and gets totally wasted. He ends up with another girl in a bedroom but doesn’t remember what happened. And after the party, he crashes his parent’s car, one of his friends suffers paralysis in the accident and winds up in the hospital, and he gets arrested and spends the night in jail.
Can you imagine the shock when his parents get the phone call from the police? Can you imagine the fear the son has of having to own up to this? Think about the embarrassment, the shame, and the guilt. How can he face his friend who is lying in a hospital bed facing an uncertain future because of the choices he made? How can he face his friend’s parents? How can he face the girl that he so desperately wanted to get to know? How can he face his parents who trusted him implicitly? All he can do is think of ways that he could run and hide from it all, but he knows that’s not possible. So his mind begins racing to find ways to shift the blame to others. Anything to try to ease his guilt and put things back to the way they used to be.
But there’s no turning back. What’s done is done. Think of how this will affect the relationship between the son and his parents. It’s not that the parents will disown him. They can’t. He is their son. It’s not that the parents will stop loving him. They can’t. He is their son. But think of the pain the son will feel from all he’s done. Think of the burden of guilt that he will carry in his soul for years to come. Think of the shame that will cause him unbearable grief. As he faces his parents for the first time since the party, he is filled with unutterable fear as all he has done comes rushing back to his mind. He anticipates punishment. He anticipates justice. It’s like a nightmare that returns to haunt him every night. The torment is too great and it begins to erect a barrier between the love his parents have for him and the relationship they long to restore.
Does the story sound familiar? It should. It’s pretty much a retelling of what happened in the Garden of Eden. Think about it. What was life with their Father like before Adam and Eve made the choice to eat the fruit from the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil? He walked with them. He talked with them. He loved them unconditionally. There was no indication that Adam and Eve ever feared their Father. It was a relationship built on love and intimacy. But in a moment, the relationship vastly changed.
How did Adam and Eve react after they ate the fruit? The first thing they did was to cover themselves in fig leaves. Why? Because for the first time, they realized they were naked. They were covering their shame, or at least trying to.
And when God came looking for them in the Garden, what did they do next? They started playing the blame game. In an attempt to transfer their guilt to someone else, Adam blamed Eve and Eve blamed the serpent. You know how it goes. It’s always someone else’s fault. We’ve all played that game at one time or another.
Why do we do those things? Why do we try to cover our shame and transfer our guilt? It seems that we just can’t live with the knowledge of the terrible things we’ve done. It’s a self-defense mechanism. You know what I’m saying. We all have things in our past that we are ashamed of and wouldn’t want anyone else to know about us. They are ugly stains seared in our consciences and they impact the relationships in our lives.
That can be especially true in our relationship with God. It’s one thing to do something really horrible to someone you love here on earth that can leave a lasting imprint. But even in that situation, we can at least rationalize that none of us are perfect and the person I hurt has probably done things to hurt me or someone else too. That thought can make us feel a little better about ourselves, though it is obviously wrong thinking. But before a perfect God? What rationalization could we possibly conjure up? When we mess up, what defense do we have before Him? None. I’m sure we would respond very much the same way Isaiah did when he saw the Lord. “‘Woe to me!’ I cried. ‘I am ruined! For I am a man of unclean lips, and I live among a people of unclean lips, and my eyes have seen the King, the Lord Almighty.’” (Isaiah 6:5)
But that’s not where the story ends. It is so much greater and more exciting than that. As we prepare to celebrate Christmas, we are celebrating the coming of Jesus into this world – Immanuel, God with us! Why did God leave his heavenly throne to become a lowly human? Why did God take on flesh to be just like us? Why did God in Jesus Christ hang out with the sinners, suffer for the sinners, and die for the sinners? The writer of Hebrews gave us an often overlooked answer. “For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.” (Hebrews 12:2)
Why did Jesus endure the cross? To scorn its shame. God knew that as long as sin remained an issue, guilt and shame would always stand in the way of the relationship He longed to have with us. Jesus took not only our sins away but he took away the guilt and shame that came with it. Now we can live in a relationship built not on fear of what a perfect, all-powerful God will do to us, but on the love He’s always had for us. If we are still relating to God out of fear of pending punishment due to our lack of obedience, then there may be something about His love we still do not yet understand. As John said, “There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love. We love because he first loved us.” (1 John 4:18-19)
But how can we know for sure that God loves us? As Jesus declared, “Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.” (John 15:13) The cross is the greatest symbol of love the world has ever known because that’s where Jesus laid down his life for us, his friends. We have no need to fear him. We have no need to fear our Father. If we live in His love, His love will drive out our fear. And as that fear melts away, so too will the shame and guilt from our ugly past. That’s what grace does. It drives out everything that hinders the loving relationship our Father longs to have with us.
So just as the love the parents have for their son will slowly drive out the guilt and shame he feels for the terrible things he did at the party that night, so God’s love will do for you. Let His love captivate your heart and share that love with others who are enslaved by guilt and shame. Show them the love of Jesus Christ and watch their fearful hearts be changed to hearts filled with love and joy.
Essential Grace 
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